Victory (Satire) by Jon Wesick

Victory

by Jon Wesick

“Californians can now rest safe knowing that all evil-doers are behind bars,” Arnold Schwarzenegger said from the governor’s cell in San Quentin. He declared victory in the War on Crime after learning the Fifth Outsourced Court of Appeals in Beijing upheld the jaywalking conviction of Mr. Melvin Krabtree. The governor then posed for photographers in front of a Mission Accomplished banner.

Once Mr. Krabtree begins serving his ten-year sentence at Pelican Bay, the only Californian remaining outside the state’s vast prison complex will be Lewis “Scooter” Libby. With 99.999% of its population behind bars California has the largest incarceration rate in the nation. Calls for reform have gone unheeded as both California’s registered voters, Mr. Krabtree and Mr. Libby, have consistently elected law-and-order candidates. Political analysts predict a major shift in direction now that half the electorate has lost the right to vote due to a felony conviction.

In a related story, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called for the president to sign a bill increasing the number of H1-B visas for qualified foreign prison guards. “The president is playing politics with the immigration issue,” Pelosi said from a dank cell in Leavenworth, Kansas. “It’s time to open our borders so people from other countries can enjoy the same standard of living we Americans do.”

Author bio:

Jon Wesick has a Ph.D. in physics and has published close to two hundred poems in small press journals such as the The New Orphic Review, Pearl, Pudding, andSlipstream. Two of his chapbooks have been honorable mentions in the San Diego Book Awards. His poem, “Bread and Circuses,” won second place in the 2007 African American Writers and Artists contest.