Dear Citizens of the World by Vibha Batra

Dear Citizens of the World

by Vibha Batra

Dear Citizens of the World,

I go by various names: idiot, slime ball, douche

But my parents named me George Bush

Don’t you go blaming me for 9/11

I didn’t let it happen again, hon

In my time, I ruled my turf

All thanks to my olfactory nerve

I could smell a terrorist thousand miles away

Are you with me or against me, quick have your say

I bombed the hell out of Kazakistan

Whoa! Laura tells me it was Afghanistan

What’s the diff? K or A, a ‘tan’ is a ‘tan’

Not as if I mixed them up with the Taliban

Did I tell ya I was carrying a handycam

It was me! I youtubed the hanging of Saddam

I may be out of office but I swear

I will smoke Obama Bin Laden out of his lair

Aren’t you glad I won over Al Gore

So what if I cheated, couldn’t give up US to a bore

I would also like to thank my daddy

For letting me duck the draft ‘cos I was saddy

Even Banana Republics appreciate the sentiment

And love me for installing puppet governments

As for Fidel, I ‘castro’d him

Now you know why he always looks grim

I’m still looking for weapons of mass destruction Iraqi

I still dunno why I imposed economic sanctions on the Pakis

All they did was ask me for mediation

After all, Kashmir is a part of their nation

I always thought Pakistan was a cricket team

Then I heard Mooshraaaf’s ‘Give me Aid’ screams

How could I give him AIDS when I didn’t have it

I was just the President not some terrorist

So love me for ending several reigns of terror

And do excuse me for the odd error

Love, Georgie

Author bio:

Vibha Batra is writer and poet based in Chennai. Vibha has completed a Masters in Communication from the University of Madras and worked as a copywriter in several reputed advertising agencies. Vibah has 3 published books: Ishaavaasya Upanishad, an English translation of my grandfather's work (published by Rupa Publications in 2007), Tongue-in-cheek, a collection of poetry (published by Writers Workshop in 2008) and A Twist of Lime, a collection of short stories (published by Think Big Books in 2008). Vibha's short stories and poems have appeared on various e-zines.