Submission guidelines

PLEASE NOTE: CLOCKWISE CAT SUBMISSION GUIDELINES HAVE CHANGED! PLEASE PERUSE BEFORE SUBMITTING! WE NO LONGER ACCEPT FICTION!

SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN FOR ISSUE EIGHTEEN. ACCEPTING ALL SUBMISSIONS OF POETRY, POLITICAL POLEMICS (INCLUDING SATIRE), and APPRAISALS (REVIEWS). ISSUE SEVENTEEN WILL PUBLISH SPRING, AND ISSUE EIGHTEEN WILL PUBLISH SUMMER.

FAILURE TO FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES COULD DISQUALIFY YOUR SUBMISSION. YES, WE KNOW THE GUIDELINES ARE LONG - THE EDITOR IS A LOQUACIOUS FOOL - BUT JUST DO YOUR FREAKIN' HOMEWORK AND QUIT YER BITCH-FEST, YOU WHINY, OVER-CODDLED BRAT!

Clockwise Cat is a literary webzine appearing seasonally that features poetry, polemics, and reviews.

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:

Rule #1: Please peruse previous issues to get an idea as to what Clockwise Cat is looking for content-wise, and style-wise.

Rule #2: Please adhere to the following guidelines. Failure to do so will earn you a cyber-spanking, plus possible disqualification from consideration. Banishment from the universe will also be contemplated if your guideline violations are particularly egregious.

POETRY:

Clockwise Cat prefers to receive poetry that is in some way akin to the Symbolist, Dadaist, Surrealist, Beat, spoken word, and experimental genres. However, we will regard all well-crafted submissions that somehow flout conventions. (In other words, if your poem is in any way "academic" in style, it better damn well be imaginatively academic - and of course, that's a rather oxymoronic qualification. But, of course, anything is possible, so don't be shy if you think your piece fits the style and purview of the magazine.)

Quantity and length: Please submit no more than THREE poems of reasonable length.

REVIEWS:

When submitting book, music, and movie reviews, be reminded that we prefer reviews of books and films that are progressive in theme or in style and of music that is forward-looking rather than that which uninspiringly retreads past styles. Again, use your best judgment in this regard, for we’ll certainly use ours. Please note that your review does NOT have to be about a recently released book, movie, or CD. Your may certainly review something that was released years, or even decades, or even centuries, ago.

Quantity and length: Please submit up to TWO reviews of no more than around 1,500 words each.

POLEMICS:

Political rants and polemics should be progressive in spirit. Obviously the term “progressive” is subject to ambiguous interpretation, and we certainly don’t want to dissuade disparate viewpoints. Just use your best judgment and we’ll use ours. Typically, we like rants that are anti-imperialistic in flavor, but they must be well-written and serve a point beyond just taking the government to task. SAY something of substance - don't just whine and snivel like the spoiled American brat that you are. (You might be a brat of a different nationality, of course.)

Also, while the magazine bluntly espouses progressive viewpoints, Clockwise Cat prefers that your submitted pieces not be mere ideological liberal claptrap; if you disagree with a typical "lefty" viewpoint, say so. Don't just blindly follow for fear of betraying your fellow smelly, pot-toking, free-love brothers and sisters. Be a critical thinker, for god's sake.

Quantity and length: Please submit up to ONE polemic of no more than around 2,000 words.

SATIRE:

Clockwise Cat believes that satire is one of the most elevated forms of art and political dissent. To the end, the Cat eagerly encourages you to submit your searing satirical pieces. Put that Swiftian wit and Voltairian venom to pointed purpose. Some of the luscious lampoonery that Clockwise Cat relishes includes just about anything by Vonnegut, Voltaire's "Candide," Swift's "Modest Proposal," Twain's "The Damned Human Race," Kubrick's "Dr. Strangelove," the TV shows, "The Colbert Report," "The Simpsons," and "Family Guy," the movie "Borat," and the political cartoon, "This Modern World."

Quantity and length: Please submit up to TWO pieces of satire of no more than around 1,000 words each.

MISCELLANEOUS:

Please submit a brief biography of yourself as well. The bio can include previous publication information, links to your website, and any other interesting tidbits you'd like us to know.

Please, NO simultaneous submissions, EXCEPT in the case of polemics, reviews, and satire.

Previously published work IS accepted, however; just let us know where your piece originally appeared.

Please send all submissions to Editor Alison Ross at Fleurdumal666@gmail.com. Please paste your TEXT submissions in the body of an e-mail (NO ATTACHMENTS). Write "Submission - Genre" in your subject line. Note that this doesn't mean you actually write "Submission - Genre" in the e-mail subject line, but that you SPECIFY the actual genre - i.e., poetry, review, polemic, satire. As an example, for a poetry submission, write "Submission - POETRY" - but without the quotation marks. We didn't think we'd have to explain this part of the guidelines in such excruciating detail, but trust me - we do.

We will try to respond to everyone within to three to four weeks, usually sooner. Please be patient. We do intend to respond to everyone, regardless of acceptance. We're of the mindset that EVERYONE deserves a response within a REASONABLE amount of time. IF YOU DON'T HEAR FROM US WITHIN FOUR WEEKS, PLEASE INQUIRE AGAIN.

Obviously, we are not a paying market, but the psychological rewards are nonetheless manifold. (That is, Clockwise Cat kicks ass, and you're lucky to be published here. (Okay, not really.) (Okay, yes, really.) )

Legal Notification:

Upon publication in Clockwise Cat, all rights revert to the author. However, Clockwise Cat reserves the right to archive the submitted material online. Clockwise Cat also reserves the right to publish your submitted material in any print versions of the magazine, should they ever materialize.