Poem by Karl Koweski

The Swapper: A Southern Love Story
by Karl Koweski

Oct 6

Hey ladies, tired of mind games and users?
I’m a stable SWM, early 30s. Got a good
job, own my own home and vehicle. Looking
for a nice clean attractive woman, 18-35,
for friendship, possibly more. If interested
leave a message in next week’s Swapper
for JOHN DEERE COWBOY.

Oct 13

JOHN DEERE COWBOY. You sound like someone
I’d like to get to know. I’m a 32 yo DWF
looking to get out and have a good time.
Let’s see what happens. DEANA (personal
information with held by The Swapper)

Oct 13

JOHN DEERE COWBOY. I’m tired of the users
and abusers, too. I’m 35, DWF, brown hair/
eyes, people tell me I’m attractive, have
2 kids who are the light of my life, no
drinking, no smoking. Leave a message
in next week’s Swapper for LONELYGAL.
God bless.

Oct 20

Hey, DEANA, sounds like I’m your man. Meet
me at the coke machines in the Boaz Super
Wal-Mart at 6 pm Saturday. I’ll be wearing
the red and black country/western shirt
and cowboy hat. JOHN DEERE COWBOY.

Oct 20

LONELYGAL. It’s such a tragedy that such
a loverly woman should be so lonely. I’d
like the chance to cure you of it. I’m
looking for a pen pal, maybe more. I’m a
SBM currently incarcerated in the Alabama
prison system, looking at a late 2007
release. Leave your PO box in next week’s
Swapper for MOSTLY INNOCENT.

Oct 27

Where were you at Saturday, JOHN DEERE COWBOY?
I waited two hours and drank 7 cherry cokes
and didn’t see you anywhere. I hope you’re
not in the habit of standing people up. DEANA.

Oct 27

Hey, DEANA, I’m real sorry I wasn’t at the
Wal-Mart. Something real serious came up.
I guess you weren’t there, either. My mom
works there as a door greeter and she said
she didn’t see anyone hanging out at the coke
machines. If you’re still interested in
meeting a good man who knows how to treat a
lady, I’ll be at the Guntersville Bowling Alley
Friday night between 6 and 8pm. I’ll be in
the blue and gray country/western shirt and
cowboy hat. JOHN DEERE COWBOY.

Dec 8

JOHN DEERE COWBOY, this is LONELYGAL. Remember
me? I thought you said we weren’t going to
play mind games? Since I met you out front of
the Wal-Mart I’ve loved you. And I believe
you still love me. I just want you to know,
no matter what happens, I’ll be here for you.
No one can love you like I can.

Dec 15

LONELYGAL, you need to get a life. Leave my
man alone and find one of your own. JOHN may
have told you he loved you, but he never loved
you. He loves me. Get over it. I won. DEANA

Dec 29

Hey ladies, tired of mind games and users?
I’m a stable SWM, early 30s. Got a good
job, own my own home and vehicle. Looking
for a nice clean attractive woman, 18-35,
for friendship, possibly more. If interested
leave a message in next week’s Swapper
for JOHN DEERE COWBOY.


Author bio:

Karl Koweski is a 32 year old displaced Chicagoan now living on top of a mountain in Alabama. His poems and stories have been published all over. Karl co-edits Zygote In My Coffee with Brian Fugett. His latest chapbook, Dimishing Returns, is almost available from www.sunnyoutside.com.