Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Saradipity for Prez: A Lyrical Political Spoof (Satire) by James G. Piatt

Saradipity for Prez: A Lyrical Political Spoof
by James G. Piatt

“The country is now in a great big fog, we can’t sit around watching it going to the dog,” Georgie stated all agog.

“The Demodogs won’t listen to sense and we can’t get em to cross the durn fence. We need fewer taxes on the rich to pull them from the golden ditch, and less regulations to help the elitist congregations. More drilling for oil to make the environmentalists boil. And, overturning Wade vs. Roe, so the country will grow.” Saradipity stated with a flare as she preened her long hair, and crossed her legs to get a stare.

“That’s Row Saradipity, not roe,” Stated Newty shaking his body from head to toe!

“Why, it has to do with eggs!” She replied again crossing her shapely legs.

Newty stated; “its time we get back to doing what we did back when. Like partisan stances without any chances, boondoggling the community with no chance for unity. Then spinning the truth like Rove in his booth and stretching lies about the Demodog guys.

“Well Newty I agree we can’t allow them to make a liberal plea, we need to get back to business as usual and make the truth appear so very unusual. Secrecy is holy like tasty ravioli. We’ll twist the truth, and spin bogus reports to the media sorts. Our citizens deserve to be fooled and inconspicuously ruled.” Dickey stated with his signature sneer like he still had a political career.”

“Well Dickey, let’s do a better job than before, your WMD ploy blew up in a roar.”

“That wasn’t my fault they sent a team of Demogog men over to look into our Rovie’s big spin, it was all going just fine until then.”

“Well, I think we ought to bomb em to death, don’t even let em get their breath!” Rushie yelled in heat, his big fat head red as a beet.”

“I agree with my radio idol, even though some have said he’s quiet suicidal.” Monicadipity said in a twirl pulling her skirt up like a naughty schoolgirl, and showing her well-formed thighs to the thrill of the guys.

“I can get my husband and his group of secessionist men to take that job on at the drop of a ten,” stated Saradipity pulling her skirt up high to match Monicadipity’s ample thigh. “But since I can see Russia so near maybe I can drop a tiny hint in their ear.”

Georgie rubbed his eye at the sight of the thighs then said to the female guys; “pull down those skirts right now you’ll get all the guys in a fit of mad cow. You don’t want to get old Rushie and Newty excited they’ll get all confused and then get ignited.“ However, fellows I have a new plan that will excite the clan.”

Dickey shook his head and looked at the ceiling as he rubbed his head with a nauseous feeling. “Now Georgie, let’s not get all carried away and say something you can’t convey. You’re a neat guy but you cannot deny that in the brain department you are a bit shy.”

Georgie put on a petulant frown. “Gee Dickey, you never let me have any renown.”

“Don’t get down in the dumps Georgie my fan, we will let you make a speech about our plan.”

“Newty looked at Rovie and said; “just as long as he follows what we write, I guess that would help belie my fright.”

“Saradipity how are things going in the cold state?” Rushie grinned not at all that straight since he had taken too much of his prescription plate.

“Well, I am sending my daughter's ex fiancé to Siberia on a fact finding tour of their cafeteria. I am still trying to drill, drill, drill, but it is no thrill with Obama and his ban on drilling my land.”

Rushie sighed ogling her shape and almost fell over his tape. “We are on the brink and we are going to sink if we don’t get in sync!”

“Well Rushie, that’s a bit of reply, for a guy who has lust in his eye! Our goals have gone astray to our utter dismay and our base with superior grace are demanding Demodog blood and a lot more mud.”

Georgie shook his head and said:

“But Newty, won’t the Demodogs say that we are in the way every day we never play?"

Monicadpity hearing the word play, did a ballet, showing the fellas her sway as her skirt twirled and her panties unfurled. She then looked demure as she pulled in her lure, which was no cure for the allure. She then smiled and said, “fellas you go ahead, I going to bed. My body is worn and my hearts all forlorn so you do the plan and I’ll be your fan as part of the clan.”

The oglers all stared and started to plot how they could sneak off without being caught.

Saradipity frowned watching her go with the fella’s goggling eyes in tow. She got up real quick with a clickety click did a little twirl and spun her skirt showing she was all girl.

“Er guys its not late and our plan can’t wait,” Newty managed to say, as he watched Saradipity’s body spin and sway.

“You betcha boys we will all get together and go hell bent for leather. We have all the answers to the nations woes, just make sure you stay on your toes. If we all do our bit, we will win each mind and if not we will just bide our time. We’ll push the Demodogs to fail at whatever they sail and sabotage every plan they hail. Then we will yell to the skies that they won’t work with us good guys.”

“Saradipity for Prez,” they all said, fantasizing the great things ahead. She grinned, preened her hair, and dreamed of being a celebrity deb.

The End (Let's hope)

Author bio:

James earned his BS and MA from California State Polytechnic University. He earned his doctorate from BYU. He is retired now, and spends his summers along the river, reading, writing, and penning poetry. Caper Journal, Word Catalyst Magazine, Everyday Weirdness Magazine, and the Cynic Magazine have published his short stories. He has had eight non-fiction essays published.

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