Monday, July 29, 2013

Welcome To AmeriKKKa: Negro Vaginas, GO HOME! (Satire) by Alison Ross

Let's face it: Women and blacks are equally reviled in Amurka two point 0-1-3. Women are meant to bleed and breed and blacks are meant to be dark and scary, and, well, that's just how it is in today's AmeriKKKa, which resembles yesterday's America, too, and even the America before that, and before that, and before that! 

Hell, the idea of progress in Amurka is just a perniciously lingering illusion; they may have given women and blacks the right to vote, but the "pale patriarchy" guffaw all the way to the bank over that one, since it's Anglo humans with phalluses who continue to control the cosmos - financially, environmentally, psychologically, psychosomatically, psychopathologically...

These ghostly, seemingly sentient creatures who govern with their groin - tyrannize with their testes - are steadily losing their power, however, as women grow more robust ovaries and minority races morph into the majority. And this is why bigotry has become amplified in recent years. This is most aptly symbolized by the pick-up truck drivers who display a set of brass balls dangling from the rear of their vehicles.

Um, yeah: That in NO WAY reveals a callow machismo sense of abject FEAR in the face of EVOLVING humanity, where women are seen as PEOPLE and not chattel. (And since those men with the scrotum truck adornment have been witnessed to be caucasian, we can perhaps assume that they likely are not very negro-friendly either, though to be fair they may be in collusion with some black men on this, though I highly doubt it. Anything is possible, of course.)

But I digression. 

Naturally, you might not be convinced that Amurka is racially and gender-ly as regressive as I am painting it. So why not take this here Kwiz for the Idiot Bigot, to check yo bad sef?

Wendy Davis is: 

a) a dyke who wants to abort yer babies
b) a cunt who wants to abort yer babies
c) a modern-day witch who wants to burn yer babies at the stake
d) a kick-ass senator in Texas who filibustered the fuck out of the regressive as fuck bill which closes all but about five abortion clinics in that state, endangering the health of women of all races and income levels 

Rick Perry is: 

a) really named Prick Scary

b) really named Ick Hairy

c) a misogynist freak

d) a freakish misogynist who as Governor of Texas signs all sorts of regressive bills into legislation because in his mind, cowgirls are breeders! Yeehaw! 

Trayvon Martin is: 

a) a negro thug armed with a pack of Skittles 
b) a hooded negro brandishing a juicy beverage
c) a darkie whose terrifying sartorial sense and dangerous candy preference made him a deserving target of pent-up racial hostility 
d) an unarmed child who was murdered in cold blood by a stalking loser

George Zimmerman is: 

a) a thuggish asshole
b) a thuggish asswipe
c) a thuggish butthole
d) a thuggish buttwipe
e) a stalking loser who murdered an unarmed child in cold blood

Marissa Alexander is: 

a) guilty on two counts: being black and being female
b) severely shortsighted for not having been born white and male
c) a husband-hater who refuses to put up with domestic violence like all good wives do
d) a black woman protecting herself who got 20 years in prison for firing warning shots at her abusive husband; meanwhile a white dude and the white-ish George Zimmerman shot and killed (black) people and were acquitted 

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