Saturday, July 4, 2009

Cats and Dogs by dan bradley

Cats and Dogs
by dan bradley


"The thing is we sometimes argue about the endings of movies and stuff and the cats get freaked out and run away. They hide you know, because we're shouting. And then we get into bed and cuddle and MAKE UP, you know, but the cats they never see all this. They go to sleep scared. I'm worried."

"About the cats?"

"Yeah the cats. Do they think life is all going to bed scared every night?"

"Sure, maybe. But what do they remember?"

"But subconsciously. It's gotta make them fear the end of the day or something. Like Pavlov's rats."


"You know?"

"Or really enjoy the beginning."

"But... only by comparison."

"Well.. Do you enjoy the beginning of YOUR day?"

"Silly question. Hey you'd better go take table five. We getting drunk tonight?"

"Silly question."


"Bro sometimes I wonder about survival."

"Man sometimes I wonder if I'm gonna survive."

"I mean my cats, bro."


"You know my boy eats tape?"

"What kind?"

"Just scotch."

"Good choice."

"He's friggin THREE. That's like 30 in people years."

"Everybody's got their quirks, man."

"But what about instinct? What in my cat is telling him, 'Hey, dude -- eat tape to survive!' And I heard of another guy's cat eating up a bunch of thread. By this logic shouldn't there be just random people with quirks for licking doorknobs or jamming rocks in their ears?"

"What about sex fetishes?"

"Is that really survival?"

"Maybe your cat just likes to be bad."

"Yeah. Hey I'm on break, go smoke with me?"


"I'm worried about the boy cat, bro."


"I mean he sits in the kitchen all day and looks out the window."

"He likes to watch the snow, huh?"

"He wants to run in the backyard so bad, just like summertime. But he'll run through all two feet of snow if I let him out there. I mean he's scratchin' at the wood and everything. Gonna to claw his way out, you know? But he'll catch a damn cold if I let him out."



"Yeah. Lots of people wonder why they can't just do everything, right?"

"I've gotta call my mom."

Author bio:

Dan is a fictional editor for Literary Fever and bandwagon driver at The Heckler. Black-Listed, Farmhouse, Elimae, Ugly Cousin, Shine and Feathertale have also enjoyed his writing. Dan likes hockey, doodling and carving faces into fruit. He will smash his guitar one day. Be his friend.


Lisa Renee said...

At least he's not rubbing up against a rose bush...oh wait, he did that just yesterday... I wonder if thats as bad as scratching mosquito bites with a nail file... hmm...think I'll call my dad! - Lisa

Anonymous said...

Nice nadyellow :)

Kari L. said...

loved it dan. i love your dialogue skill