Naked Dancing Fairies
by Donna Amato
“I swear I saw fairies dancing naked on our front lawn.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Robert. There’s no such thing as fairies, and if there were, they wouldn’t be dancing on our lawn,” said Nancy.
“Listen to yourself, you sound like an idiot,” said Nancy, as she juggled two balls and a candlestick, dressed in her red bikini.
The fairies looked at them through the window. Trying to imitate what they saw, they rolled themselves into little balls and started bouncing up and down on the grass.
“Look!” yelled Robert. “There are naked fairies bouncing on the front lawn.”
“You need to stop. We’re new to this community. The neighbors will think you’ve lost your mind,” said Nancy, adding a flaming torch to her juggling act.
The fairies, still observing with fascination, lit their wings on fire and continued to bounce around.
“Now there are flaming naked fairies on our front lawn!” screamed Robert. Opening the door, he ran out onto the driveway. Nancy followed, not missing a beat in her act. The fairies fell to their knees, their wing stubs smoldering.
“All hail to the goddess of the torch,” they chanted at Nancy’s feet. She continued juggling.
“You’re not going to tell me you don’t hear that,” said Robert.
“Hear what?” she asked, completely preoccupied,
Robert stared at her. The neighbors began gathering around to watch the spectacle. Slim Jim, the contortionist, stretched and bended himself into the shape of a chair and made himself comfortable. Sam, the Asp Man, curled up in Jim’s make shift seat.
Nancy continued to juggle, adding little Simon, the puppy boy, into the act. His yelps added to the commotion every time he was thrown into the air. Robert ran around the yard screaming about the fairies no one seemed to notice.
A yellow car pulled up with lights flashing. Two men with white faces got out, their police badges shining against their colorful outfits.
“Are you causing a disturbance again Robert?” asked one of the officers.
“No, I just wanted my wife to see the naked dancing fairies on our lawn, that’s all,” he yelled, pointing toward Nancy and the gathering crowd.
The officers looked over. They clapped enthusiastically when she threw the torch high into the air and caught it behind her back. The neighbors joined in the applause.
“What about the fairies?” asked Robert.
“Last week it was tight rope walking gnomes. Why can’t you just enjoy the neighborhood and relax,” said the shorter police clown.
“But they’re right there worshiping my wife” screamed Robert, his frustration mounting.
“That’s it, we’re gonna have to take you in until you calm down,” said the tall clown.
They loaded him into the back of the car. The neighbors waved good-by.
“How’d Nancy wind up married to such a freak?” asked Sam.
“Beats me,” said Slim Jim.
As they drove away, Robert looked out the back window. The last thing he saw were the gnomes, taking off their clothes to join the fairies.
Donna Amato is a freelance writer who enjoys writing short stories in all genres. She is forced to work in the real world as a nurse, but prefers her profession be listed as Writer. She is currently working on her first novel.