by Joseph Di Lella
This just in –
Rocky and Bullwinkle in a scrape,
a terrible, frightening sight?! Oh my!
big dumb looking squirrel and flying moose,
no, make that
flying squirrel and idiot elk
seen overhead, running back and forth on the wings of a turboprop
wrestling with Boris and Natasha
USA’s Cold War
Public Enemies Number One and Number Two.
What’s that, Fred? Our man at the site
tells me they’re fighting over a simple hat, called what?
The Kirwood Derby?
Oh – that hat?
The one, if properly worn upon one’s head, turns any nincompoop into a genius?
Truth be told, my fellow Americans,
The Kirwood Derby was named after the debonair television personality, Derwood Kirby,
a man who mocked the fearless duo on air countless times before, he, too,
was forced to fight the lampoon battle of his life.
I ask you, Mr. and Mrs. America,
how could anyone debase cartoonish figures
who give their all to protect our national interests?
Can you think of better role models,
for young boys and girls,
to follow? The hint, the whisper, the inkling of Communism,
and the omnipresence of the McCarthy Hearings,
defamed, injured and destroyed the lives and careers
of beloved movies stars,
well-respected authors and writers.
I ask one simple question? Who protected them?
Though a few years removed from such Capitol proceedings
and public lynchings,
this cute little peanut eater and bumbling, distant cousin of the kangaroo
continue their journey
on the accidental trails
of liberty, justice and truth
combating villains galore, weekly, with a never-say-die attitude.
I know my hat, if I had one, would be off
in honor of this dynamic duo
who continually save each and every one of us
from totalitarianism and global domination
of countries near and far.
This is Joseph Smith,
ace reporter, signing off.
Proud to be a Rocky and Bullwinkle supporter
and not a political prisoner
in a Siberian gulag half a continent away
. . . without a television in sight.
Joseph is an Assistant Professor who teaches Bilingual Education and Reading in a state college in New Mexico. He writes fiction and poetry in his spare time. His short story, 'Cheating Destiny' was an 'Alternate Selection' for Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (Vol. 10) published by Pocket Books (Simon and Schuster). You can find his latest works in current or upcoming e-zines such as The Lorelei Signal, The Battered Suitcase, Alienskin Magazine, and of course his favorite publication -- Clockwise Cat.